Sadio Mané again proclaimed aloud his love for Olympique de Marseille. The only club forever engraved in his supporter heart. So we think that OM should try everything to recruit him. In an obvious sarcastic tone, we offer five very different strategies for signing the Liverpool star.
Listen, Frank McCourt. We found a great solution to buy the terrible Sadio Mané. You place all your assets in hyper-risky cryptocurrency. “High risks, high rewards“as we say at home. If it works, no doubt about it, you’ll be able to immediately find yourself with plenty of money.
Then you put everything on your account neither seen nor known in a few days. You are a billionaire, you put 30 million euros on Mané, 50 on Antoine Griezmann, Marseille are champions of France. Easy, right?
Imagine if Jorge Sampaoli goes to see every Marseillais with his gang of Argentinian robbers saying to him: “You give dinero, or you never come again Velodrome hermano”. Obviously, many people would be tempted by this donation campaign. Lots of supporters would give without thinking.
So yes, on the other hand you look like a loser for several decades. Between having a Sadio Mané who plants 25 goals per season and being insulted by sons of Labradors for ten years, our choice is quickly made. We personally donated 1 euro. It’s not the amount that counts but the gesture… We see you coming with your remarks.
Get ready, it’s a Machiavellian plan. Initially, a rumor: the city of Marseille must sell the Vélodrome within the month to balance the accounts. In the aftermath, OM supposedly bought him for an excessively high sum. The turning point here… In fact, Pablo Longoria managed to buy him back for 1,500 euros and Pol Lirola on loan as the town hall’s cook.
Hop, the turning point is coming. At the same time, the Marseille management made contact with several entities in the Middle East looking for investments. She sells him a dynamic stadium where great international artists like to perform. Operation at almost 100 million euros, Sadio Mané signs, end of the game.
The only problem is that the club will now have to play in the Stade du Moussou in Bouc-Bel-Air… Difficult to accommodate 65,000 people there, but at least you signed Mané huh.
If every employee in the club buys a single lotto card for three weeks, there is a world where one of them wins the jackpot. Ten million euros which this good Samaritan will donate to Olympique de Marseille. Thanks to this, Frank McCourt will easily be able to match the amounts requested.
If trust does not really reign within the management, you might as well have everyone sign exclusivity clauses for the amounts. The most deserving can also invest in Euromillions and other sources of immediate income.
The last option and not the least. It would already be necessary to convince Sadio Mané to come to an appointment in Marseille. Then, OM would hire an illusionist. Not just any eh, one of the best much more efficient than Viktor Vincent or Messmer.
A crack of the trade who would lull the Senegalese international and slip him the idea of trying everything to come to the club. He will have to agree to lower his salary, stay five years and play on the same side as Luan Peres. Everything provided that Mané signs immediately. Then, alarm clock and the papers are already ready. Signature in stride and after all the budget will pass on the agreement with Liverpool.
Call to our community: if you know an illusionist capable of performing this trick, do not hesitate to contact us at this email address, firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you all!